"When I'm on stage I'm a whole different person and it's my favorite part of me."
Tuesday 4 June 2024, Canterbury High Street, United Kingdom
Who are we talking to? Aira
Who is the interviewer? Hyla
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HYLA: What are you passionate about?
AIRA: I'd say in general, my biggest passion is performing arts. I'm passionate about all types of them. I like singing and I like acting and I like dancing. But I'd say ultimately I think out of all of them, my favorite is dancing. Definitely dancing is my greatest passion.
HYLA: Why?
AIRA: Honestly, I only really got into dancing during, like covid, during 20 well, not even like slightly before that 2018/2019 because before that I was a rhythmic gymnast, so that's kind of where like my roots were. Yeah, that's kind of where my roots were with like music and performing to music, moving to music.
And then when covid hit, I quit gymnastics and I discovered k-pop. And I think K-pop is where my love for dance came from, because I found the choreographies really cool, like I enjoyed their music but I'd watch their dance practices and be like amazed by how in sync they are, the power and how they can create all those shapes with their own bodies and with other people. So I think that's where my passion for dance came from. And I just worked on it since then.
HYLA: I agree, like that's why I would come to Kpop class, because I like seeing the choreo plus the songs, it's the whole package.
AIRA: Yeah, The whole package.
HYLA: Yeah, it's not just like one element. Do you prefer like more collaborative creative projects, or do you like being alone when you’re being creative?
AIRA: I think I've always been a team person. I even played sports before and I loved sports and specifically like football, basketball, all the team ones where you work with other people. So that even applies to dance. As much as I enjoy dancing on my own and filming my own projects, I had always dreamed of dancing in a group to create like, because you know, like with k-pop there are solos, but there are also a lot of groups. There are many, many groups. And like working with other people dancing or again, creating those pieces of performing arts together. I think that's the most magical part of it.
HYLA: Why do you think you're a team person? Is it just like your personality or like the way you were raised?
AIRA: (Quietly) A need for attention.
HYLA: (Laughing) What did you say??
AIRA: (Smiles mischievously) Nothing.
AIRA: I think it's just like a sense of community and a sense of understanding. I mean like okay, so in psychology—I'm a psychology student by the way. In psychology, we learn about this thing called the Social Identity Theory, where it's like you find out like part of your identity has to do with the groups that you're part of and the groups you identify with, and you get like a sense of self-esteem from that, sense of self-confidence. You know it's something that remains stable in your life.
I think just like having those people who are working towards the same goal, like whether it's improving, playing your game, winning a match, or whether it's performing for a showcase or stuff like that, just having a group of people that you do your passion with, but with people with, like varied skill levels, varied style levels, I think it's just the most beautiful thing to come together as a community, as a group, for like one similar thing, but in all different ways, in different manners. I love it.
HYLA: Yeah, I like the way you describe it related to your course. Very intelligent.
AIRA: Yeah, a lot of revision.
(Both laugh)
HYLA: How long were you a gymnast? I did not know this about you.
AIRA: I feel like I mentioned it before! I was a gymnast for about seven/eight years. I started when I was seven, and I think I stopped when I was like 14/15. I was a competitive gymnast so across the seven years, I've reached international competition level. So I represented Turkey when I lived there. I represented Turkey for a competition before and I also played national, regional and stuff like that. All competitions and showcases like that. Yeah, I was a gymnast for quite a long time actually. That's where I got all my roots from.
HYLA: Was there anyone in your family or did you have mentors around you who were encouraging you to be creative? Are people in your family supportive?
AIRA: Honestly, yes, because I think, especially my mom. She would always come to all of my performances and, like ever since I was young, she was the one that would like put me into these things. She put me to piano lessons of course, typical Asian child things (laughs). I think I had some acting experience when I was really young. I'd be part of little shows and I think I would enjoy those so much and my mom would always be there to watch and support me and encourage me with my art and performing because I think she could tell I really liked being on stage. So she would always be like “Yes!” like I'll join the choir for the next school, and I did join the choir, and then I would join all my school plays and she'd be there for as well.
I guess, like even then, especially like with my dance now, when I started out, because it was during covid and I had to do it at home. I'd learn upstairs and in my parents' bedroom in their closet is a a full mirror, so I kind of made it my studio.
So I would like learn the dance there and she would come in, pop in just to see how I'm doing with the dance and then and stuff like that. Then I would film outside and she'd always ask me to show her, it was like those kind of things where she's like, “Show us your dance,” before dinner in front of the family, I would show them dances and stuff as I was learning. So she's always been the most supportive with my dance and my passions and really going for it, which I'm really grateful for.
"I think it's just the most beautiful thing to come together as a community, as a group, for like one similar thing, but in all different ways."
HYLA: How do you feel when you dance?
AIRA: I feel, I think, most confident and most like myself. Like that stage was made for me. Like any performing arts, the stage feels like home. I'm most nervous when it comes to like acting and singing, I think because I haven't worked on that so much.
But, recently because I've been part of a dance team for the last two years, like my confidence has like skyrocketed with dance and I've been working on it consistently like almost every single day. So yeah dancing makes me feel like my most like myself, most confident and most secure with myself, because I think I tend to get lost in, like the anxieties of daily life and I get anxious easily and I get shy and I'm an introvert. But when I'm on stage I'm a whole different person and it's my favorite part of me. So I feel happiest when I'm dancing.
HYLA: Yeah, it's always cool when something that you love creatively just brings you out of your shell. It changes you and people can see that. And people can see that. Has anyone said when they see you dance that you seem different?
AIRA: Yeah, they've mentioned like, “You look happy, like, so happy.” Like there were definitely times where, like I was like, “Oh, I felt so happy dancing that song.” They were like, “Yeah, we could tell you were smiling so big.” And then, like there were other songs where I bring a different vibe and they're like I've never seen you so intense like that before and I'm just like, yeah, like this is this, is it for me, like I'm putting everything into this so yeah, it's wonderful.
HYLA: Is there a specific food or drink you like to consume when you're being creative or before you dance, or even before a performance do you have a ritual?
AIRA: I don't really have a ritual. Actually I do. I think before I dance, I perform, it's always bringing my team together and giving a pep talk and then doing our little silly (makes sound). We do something weird—not that weird—but a little bit of a funky thing. That's definitely a ritual, but otherwise I like going into my own world, kind of thing, and I like drinking sugary drinks. Not like loads of it, obviously there's water there, but I like sugary drinks or energy drinks. So sponsor me Oasis. I drink that during almost every practice and before shows.
And then recently I've been really into an energy drink called Pocari Sweat. It's not really an energy drink. It's one of the electrolyte ones, but it really energized me and I drank it throughout my showcase and throughout all my intense practices and it was really good actually. So I'd say, I'd say just Not water. Yeah, yeah, I like the energy of the sugar, the sweetness that really hits you when you dance, I think I really like that's one thing I definitely have.
HYLA: You also said like going into your own world. What is that like?
AIRA: I love being with my team to gather the energy. But then for a minute, I need to like it's like getting into character or not, kind of. It's really like going into myself and being like we're about to do this, like really being present in the moment.
So I can fully, not only perform the best but like feel the best and really be present and feel the song and have the best time that I can. That usually consists of me putting my headphones on and if I'm nervous about specific dances. I'd watch those dances and pick out the little details that I might want to change and try out for the performance. Or it would just be headphones and it would be like really loud music. And for dance, it would be like, yeah, it would be my dance numbers, even though people are probably like some people are like, “Won’t you get sick of it, you listen to it all the time?” And I'm like actually no, because when you listen to it in that environment right before you dance really loud, it really means your energy, like, yes, I'm so excited to hit all of these beats, like I'm so excited. So I'd say that that's what it is.
HYLA: Where do you think you get your work ethic from?
AIRA: Honestly, it's interesting because I was never really a hard worker when I was younger. With anything, I would always just be. I'm kind of like if I don't really enjoy it, I'll just do the bare minimum and stuff like that.
But, like I think my work ethic comes from how much I love my art, like dancing and performing. It means so much to me so it's like it's my dream, you know, to be able to do this forever. I wish I could. So, like you know, trying hard and going to the studio four times, like at least twice, if not three times a week, and then going extra on top of that for myself. Something that gets me up in the morning is dance. I think it's just because I love it so much and it brings such a good feeling to me, like I feel so happy when I'm doing it. So I think that's where my work ethic comes from. It brings a sense of comfort as well, because it's such a huge part of me.
Whenever I'm feeling happy, I can go dance. If I'm feeling sad, I'll go dance. If I'm feeling frustrated, I'll go dance. Like I don't know. The work ethic really just comes from how much I love it and, working especially with my team, I'm determined to be the best that I can for them and myself to make us proud of something, perform something that I can be proud of performing, you know?
HYLA: What's your proudest accomplishment?
AIRA: My proudest accomplishment would probably be my dance team this year. So I was part of the same dance team kind of similar dance team last year. So I was part of the same dance team, kind of similar dance team last year. We just changed two of the members out from this year and last year, but I didn't have like a huge role in it. I was a member because of my first year and then I became performance team leader this year and I really like I started working on this team immediately from like June of last year. Like as soon as we finished our showcase, me and the president of the society, Jade, went to the park. We went out together just to chill and then we were looking at dances.
Right before my showcase this year, I remember thinking “this song we talked about in the park a year ago and now we're performing it in front of over a hundred people” and it was so exciting. So I think my proudest accomplishment is this team, because I feel like that showcase that we had at the end of the year was like the perfect, accurate representation of what we worked for, how hard we worked, and our friendship as well and the bonds that we've created, which I think is also something I'm proud of – our friendship. I'm really proud of our friendship as well.
HYLA: Yeah, because you guys will hang out together as friends and relax, like that's lovely.
AIRA: Even when we're not practicing, we're like f***ing around like and that's what the whole thing is about: like having fun doing what you love and having fun doing it. Which is cheesy but it’s true.
HYLA: Would you ever want dance to be your job?
AIRA: I honestly would love, I would love it to be my job, honestly. I do have a dream to teach dance classes, like create my own choreography because. like with K-pop, a lot of it is just following choreography and like replicating something in your own way and doing it well. But for some numbers, I would like choreograph some bits, change a few bits and add my own flair to it. And I think recently, whenever I listen to music, more recently I've been into like adding my own moves to it, because now I've danced so much inspired by other people and I'm like I found so many choreographers online that like inspired me as well, that I'm like into it and I think one day I would I could, you know hopefully can dance for a living.
HYLA: So you have that one as a dream, like choreographing, do you have other dreams as well?
AIRA: A long, lasting dream of mine is Broadway or the West End. Because, like there were so many times I remember I recall like I'd watch musicals, especially like within the last few years, um, when I was slightly older, like as a teenager I guess, where I'd watch musicals and I tear up because it just seemed so exciting, so rewarding to just be on stage and do all of those things—to act, sing and dance. It's so exhilarating. And I've been in productions before. I've been in a lot of school productions and I'd say the biggest school production I was in was when I was in Year 7. And it was really serious. We spent two months off of school, we did not go to school at all, just to prepare for this production. So I was like a professional. Every single day, I would go to school just to be taken to the studio at the theater to learn numbers, learn dance numbers, do costume fittings and sing and dance, blah, blah, blah, do lines, stuff like that, and it was really exciting. And that is a very like, far-fetched dream of mine to be on Broadway or the West End.
HYLA: Do you prefer being in control of how the show looks or being in it?
AIRA: I like to be in it. I think I'm definitely one to perform. I'm a performer. I think it's really fun to create. I definitely think it is fun to create the whole, like writing things and then staging things and doing that yourself. That's very interesting, but I think, like my favorite part of it all like creating these kind of things is to be able to perform it and to be the face of it and to show it. Be the star or like be part of it, just be seen.
HYLA: Have you always been like that since you were a child, like you want to be seen?
AIRA: Yeah, that sounds really… (Laughing) Oh, my God.
HYLA: (Laughing) That sounded really deep.
AIRA: That sounded really deep, but yes, actually I've always wanted to be seen.
HYLA: Do you feel like it's almost like people are recognizing you and everything?
AIRA: Yeah, and people are.
HYLA: Maybe it's hard to express yourself?
AIRA: Yeah, but just like, especially since, like I find such a home in performing and it's so close to me and like what I am truly. But at the same time it's like putting on a character. So I'm simultaneously showing my best, truest self and also performing and creating something that like I don't know. You know what I mean?
HYLA: Yeah.
AIRA: Like creating something that isn't really me.
HYLA: But you're channeling…
AIRA: But it’s channeling myself.
HYLA: Yeah, so it's still you, but there's bits of you in your performance.
"I like helping people get their art to the world because I like to be in front of the camera."
AIRA: Yeah, there's bits of me in it. It's something that I like someone has created, and I get to put myself into it and add my own flair to it. I love it. It's like a lot of things actually. Yeah, I like making other people's dreams come true, like directors and writers. I like helping people get their art to the world because I like to be in front of the camera.
HYLA: That’s a great quote. I think that's everything unless…Was there a question on here that you felt really called to respond to?
AIRA: The “What's something that has been in your mind recently?” and like talking about the future thing really got to me, I was thinking because I finished my showcase recently. What's been on my mind is the inevitability and like the scariness of change and growing up so like I've been really happy recently like, which is really good. I think I'm very grateful that I have something to be happy about, and I think something that's been on my mind is just that it's gonna change and like I'm scared of letting go.
I'm not very good at that. I'm not good at leaving things behind and growing up because the future is so uncertain, you never know what's going to happen and you're bound to reach things that are difficult. But so that's been on my mind a lot recently and just like, what does the future hold? I'm so happy right now and I'm so grateful that I get to be happy right now and so that I'm grateful to have something to mourn over, something great to mourn over letting go. I'm so happy that I have that kind of connection and that kind of love for something, but it is scary. I think that's what's been on my mind recently.
HYLA: Yeah, I think it will be okay. Yeah, I don't know.
AIRA: It makes space for new dreams and new passions to try out.
HYLA: Yeah, I wanted to say that, but I was like, is that too corny?
AIRA: Nah, You can say it.
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Photographers: Dante Richardson & Paolo
Photo editor: Dante Richardson
Photoshoot assistants: Hyla Etame, Vanessa Mbeko, & Jolanda Oruni
Interview editor: Hyla Etame
